Basil B Rushe - The Andy Timpson Interview. `
Basil, how do you feel about the hearing last week?
In the end I thought it went well considering all the football bodies are pursuing a vendetta against me! We’ve been promoted to Division 1 of the Evostik and for that my thanks go to Mr Bean. Since he heard about us he has become a lifelong Vics fan, green through and through. He’s a genuine green Bean. In the end I think what swung it for us when I told them I was 95% of the way to starting my own football association and league.
Where are you going to play next season?
On Moss Farm. An area of land has been identified.
I understand the residents are not happy at the location, what can you say to reassure them?
That we’ve been given some land in the Lostock Triangle so they won’t be affected at all.
The Lostock Triangle? The people up there won’t be happy.
That’s OK I’ll tell them we’ve been given some land on Moss Farm so they won’t be affected at all.
Are you sure you know where this new ground is going to be?
Ermm, maybe it’s Barnton.
Barnton!?
At the Weaverham end
There is no spare land there
Well perhaps it’s the Barnton end of Weaverham. Look, Steve deals with all that you’ll have to ask him. I, however, have decided on the design of the statue, 15ft bronze figure on a plinth with my name and a sort of motto, something simple and humble – “Suffer little Vics fans to come unto me”. Do you like it?
Can we move on. How are you coping with the fans red card protest?
Andy, let me tell you, it’s a lonely place to be when you are the only one who can see the vision. But I see myself as a sort of Clint Eastwood character, you know, ‘The Man with no Shame’. He rides menacingly into town, causes mayhem and rides out again. Strong, tough, macho and a loner. That’s me! I even have a name, I call myself ‘The Grey One’. Fits don’t you think? That’s why I held up my red card to that dreadful Trust, strong and tough – the genuine fans respected me for that.
Basil, can I ask you who exactly is Steve McSmellie and what is his role?
He is someone else straight out of the Clint Eastwood mould. That’s mould as in pottery not as in nasty dark fungal stuff. To me he is ‘The Man with no Name’. That’s because I’m not sure – I think he is either the Stephen McNally from Salford Reds or Stephen Speed who works for my friend Stephen Vaughan. It doesn’t really matter. He’s very butch, I’m putty in his hands when he’s in his aggressive assertive mode! I must confess that's partly because I’m a little bit frightened of him!
What is his role?
Off the record, don’t print this Andy, he’s come in to help me. He’s my boss.
Boss?
I think that’s the best way of describing him, can we leave that question there? Please.
I think we might as well leave it all there now, Basil.
Thank’s Andy. Can I offer you a sneak preview of the proposed statue?
No
I did try Clint’s trick of chewing tobacco and spitting it out dramatically at a match a while ago, but it’s not as simple as it looks and it left a big stain on the front of my jacket. Do you ever dream of being someone who’s a success?
Bye Basil
